Quickie
1. I realized today that I had this huge guilt or wonder about why I asked people so many questions. I have a strong curiosity about random things in people’s lives. That’s part of the reason why I can have a conversation one on one usually (other people don’t have the impulse so they need to do things other than ask inane questions). I think the reason why might be for consistency/coherency? That is, I want to know what someone’s up to so there isn’t a gap in my mind about what they were doing. I dunno, I think I just do it out of habit now. But I felt bad because I’m an awful listener too. I don’t really remember what people say very often, and, more importantly, I couldn’t tell if it was an indicator for caring. I guess usually people take it to be a sign that the other person cares about them if they put the hours into listening to them talk. For me, I do it for… just curiosity I think. I don’t doubt my capacity to care at least a little bit, but I don’t think I usually do it for that person (at least not that person exclusively). Regardless, it should ease my soul a bit to know that there is a logical reason for why I can spend hours on hours listening to people talk (though I guess it’s still a mystery why I don’t seem to recollect anything or process anything really).
2. I remember when I didn’t have a strong libido and I could just look at something and observe its aesthetic qualities. I only just realized now that when I am looking through a set of photos, I pretty much just look for girls. It’s sad. I don’t want to be that lame of a guy so I’ll try not to do that anymore. If I don’t have an interest in the photos at all, then I just won’t look at them.
